Mother;

You will never understand
how much it hurts knowing
that after so many years of trying so hard
to win your affection

I never truly gained it
and it hurts knowing
that deep down I tell myself
that I never really had the affection that a child needs
from a mother and a father.
I was never close to either of my parents

It hurts because
the only person whom I consider
to have maternal qualities
and whom I love deeply
is my grandmother.